Allison and I recently celebrated our 5th anniversary, and we decided to stay at a nice hotel right on the river in downtown Louisville during our recent visit to Kentucky.
Sadly, we were not the only people who thought this would be a great place to spend a day or two. We were sharing the hotel with two groups: The Presbyterian Women & Forecastle – 'A Festival for Music, Art & Activism'. Or as I have come to call it: Forecastle – 'An Excuse to Demolish a Hotel and Smoke Weed.' Or: Forecastle – 'How Random Interactions Can Make You Desire More From the Church.'
First of all, when I say ‘hippies’ – I am talking about real, bonafide hippies - not people who call themselves hippies because they hate showering and have seen one Grateful Dead show – I am not talking about them. Real hippies are probably the nicest, most inclusive people I have ever met. I mean, I consider myself nice, but very rarely do I initiate conversations with people at random. The hippies at this hotel saw everyone who was in the same building as them as a chance for a conversation, and because of this, it lead to this exchange…
We finish checking in and pull all our stuff into the nice glass elevator, not unlike this one. We are followed into the elevator by two Presbyterian Women (who were easy to distinguish because they all wore their name tags, and well, were old women. The two women took their place at the back of the elevator and assumed elevator etiquette. You know… where conversations are put on hold and everyone faces forward. Allison and I were spending the time by leaning against the side-wall, staring at the illuminated floor buttons. As the doors were about to close, a young guy, maybe 22 at the oldest, slides in and smiles. He makes eye contact with all of us and is just kind of grinning, in his oversized sweatshirt and lack of shoes.
He presses his button and then says, “What have you all been up to?”
And then it happened.
The moment the point was missed.
As I open my mouth to respond, very quickly one of the older ladies answers, fairly harshly, “We (gesturing to her friend) were just at church. Where have you been?”
The young guy responds, “My grandmother goes to church – I think she is a Lutheran.”
The other lady responds, “You should go with her sometime. (dramatic pause) Soon.”
I think my mouth stayed open and I kind of stared at the two women. It all happened so quickly. The elevator chimed, the doors opened and we all disembarked. Allison and I walked the hall sort of stunned, and vaguely depressed at what had just happened.
Here is the thing - there are very few opportunities to talk with people who are willing to ask questions. Tons of people are willing to talk, not a lot are willing to ask questions, especially to people who are the exact opposite of them. Any number of responses could have been offered, but instead, the only one that was offered was one intended to judge, belittle and accuse.
I think the point is that there was an opportunity to express grace, patience, kindness, gentleness, and joy. I am not asking people to have a mind-blowing conversation in an elevator. And I don’t think that the point was that this guy was saying, “tell me everything about Jesus,” or anything like that. I think the point is that we often overlook seemingly insignificant interactions because they aren’t in settings where our radar is up. I am pretty sure that if this guy had walked into the Pres. Women conference, that they would have been more than willing to talk to him, but because it was in an elevator, and because elevators already raise people’s awkward levels, instead of being able to create dialogue, the door was slammed shut (or in the case of the elevator, slide shut agonizingly slow).
I guess the takeaway for me is to desire to be more vigilant – to be much more aware of the people around me and the longing for conversation, for connection.
0 comments:
Post a Comment