So one of the dilemmas of having a spouse who works full time and is in grad school is that she needs the computer all the time. She is either taking it to school for presentations or writing papers, or editing papers, or researching papers, or changing her facebook picture. But sorry I have been away.
Things I have been thinking about: Is there something that you love to do? Something that you love? An action, a moment, a space?
Something that causes you joy, peace, makes you just feel alive? I am not talking about anything particular deep or anything. For my wife, its cooking. She really enjoys it. And not just in a “we need to eat so we can survive” type of thing, but in a “I love cooking and having people over” type of thing. We don’t get to do it very often, just part of life right now, but when it does happen, you can see the joy in her attitude.
I think my cooking is basketball. Only the weird thing is I never play.
Correction. I never played. I am trying to change that.
I use to play basketball all the time. Literally. In high school I played every day. In college, every time we could get in the gym. Even post-college I played in a couple leagues. The problem is that people take basketball too seriously. I mean, by the way some people react, you would think that the whole world is watching with bated breath for the outcome. And it got old. I didn’t want to argue with someone about fouls or listen to someone run their mouth or wear a sleeve when they are playing pick up basketball.
But when we moved to St. Louis, I stopped playing. Completely. Just stopped. I messed around shooting here in there but never played. I was done with such “childish” things. I just forgot what I loved about it.
Recently, a friend of mine asked if I would play on his basketball team. I agreed, mostly because I don’t like telling people no, and because I had nothing else going on.
Not to sound melodramatic, but it has been a joy-filled experience with me. The first game, my friend said I was running up and down with a silly grin on my face. And I believe him. It’s fun. I remembered that I love the game, that I love the teammates, the strategy, even the trash talk. There is something refreshing, recharging about running up and down the court, about sweating out the week and all its drama. Something grace-filled about finding joy in play.
Here is where I missed the point. I thought I was “over” basketball. I thought I was over those kind of endorphins. I missed the point of basketball, of finding joy in little things.
Is there something like that for you? Something that has gotten pushed to the side? Not for any particular reason but just because of life? Maybe it’s playing an instrument, or a friend that you haven’t talked to in awhile or a book that made you love reading that you haven’t read in awhile. I don’t know. But I know for me, it has been basketball.
